How to deal with fights

In a relationship, there should be some boundaries that you should create to avoid fights or to not to happen fights because sometimes boundaries play a very important role to maintain a healthy relationship and moreover maintaining it plays an important role to not to happened fights and to keep things crystal clear. some basic boundaries that you should maintain or create are as follows

Saying No

Many times in a relationship, we are afraid of saying no to some event or situation because it will upset our partner, and many times we do things just to make our partner happy or to show them that we accept this decision or situation, and these all events may happen at the very beginning of the relationship just to impress, but we forget one thing: the actions we do at the beginning lead a foundation of that relationship in the same way and build the same expectation for the future too. But all of this causes problems later on because the actions you expressed, in the beginning, are difficult to stick to in later stages because you did the first to impress or not to hurt or upset your partner but something that is against your nature you can’t do for the rest of your life that’s why you should create your boundaries at the beginning only so that it doesn’t build false expectations in a relationship. However, if they ask you to do anything that goes against your ideals, disrespects your time, or compels you to make a sacrifice, it’s okay to say no. It doesn’t have to be nasty, but it should be said confidently.

Refusing to Take Blame

In a relationship, it is common for your partner to blame their actions on you in order to irritate you or to minimize their guilt or error. This conduct does not imply that their anger is your responsibility. This is a very common practice, but again, at first, you may accept it just to keep that spark alive or to keep their interest in you, but in the long run, this behavior may become toxic, so you should set the boundaries earlier. Only then should you support his / her actions, but you are not responsible for the reaction of action, or you are not only responsible for the bad consequence. Allow them to avoid responsibility by manipulating your emotions. Recognize their pain and assure them that you are there for them. but you will not accept responsibility for their actions. 

Finding Your Identity Outside of the Relationship

In a relationship, “I” becomes “we,” and “you” become lost inside the mix. You should constantly remember that as part of a couple, you have your own identity as well. In a relationship, your identity often becomes the other person’s identity or dependency. Dependence is helpful, but it is not good when your individuality is fully gone because it might lead to a lack of confidence in yourself. and without confidence, you will always have a feeling of lower, and a relationship can never be successful with this feeling, so it is very important to maintain the boundary of both partners’ identities because it brings equality and respect in each other than apart from a relationship, you both have different lives, in which you can support each other but not rule each other.

Asking for Space

Asking for space or personal time is not a bad thing, and this boundary should always be there in a relationship; you should not be insulted or hesitate when asking for personal space. Personal space does not imply that you are withdrawing from or losing interest in your relationship. Personal space indicates alone time, which is totally healthy and essential for keeping one’s own identity and going out one’s concerns. Taking personal space can sometimes bring partners closer together, and for a healthy relationship, both partners should take personal space at different time intervals because it will lead to a self-realization about what you have done in a relationship and apart from a relationship, and both partners should take personal space at different time intervals. there’s no reason to be offended or uneasy about relationships or your partner.

Sticking Up for Yourself

Sticking up for yourself means standing up for yourself. Many times in a relationship, your partner may speak in an unjustifiable manner out of anger or stress. At that time, you can remain silent, but later you can take a stand for yourself and express to them that the way you spoke with me was wrong and I didn’t like it and that it won’t happen again because it is crossing my boundaries. This may sound harsh to your partner at the time, but it will eventually make sense. This is a boundary, and I should never violate it since it will be disrespectful or uncomfortable for my partner.

Respect the boundaries 

Respect is a boundary that you must always create and maintain in a relationship because when there is a boundary of respect, you will never cross the line that causes your relationship to suffer. It is a simple formula of giving and taking, if you respect your partner and his/her opinion or decision, your partner will reciprocate. Everyone is entitled to politeness and loving communication. and If you believe your partner is speaking out of justifiable rage or with a disrespectful tone, you have the right to leave the situation. Tell them that if they want to talk, they must do so in a respectful manner.

Some of the early signs that you can analyze that your relationship is diverting from a healthy way to a toxic way 

Your partnership should make you feel fulfilled, happy, and connected. If you see yourself growing increasingly nervous, upset, or uneasy in the presence of your partner. If you don’t feel the same vibe, the feeling that drew you in at the start of your relationship, your relationship may be in trouble. Because these are the symptoms of an unhealthy relationship that can vary greatly, this list is not exhaustive. However, it may help to highlight certain potential issues.

  • You don’t feel happy or comfortable around your partner

Increased happiness and life satisfaction are important relationship goals for many people. If you are constantly nervous or unhappy, the relationship may not be satisfying your requirements. Even if you’re both putting effort into the relationship, this can happen. People evolve with time, so feeling unsatisfied and stuck does not always imply that either of you did anything “wrong.” You may have simply evolved into separate people who no longer mesh nicely.

  • You’re afraid of expressing disagreement

Partners should always feel free to express their own thoughts, even if they disagree. If your partner reacts to your (differing) point of view with disdain, contempt, or other rudeness, it is likely that they do not appreciate you or your ideas. If you find yourself restricting everything you say because you’re worried about their reaction, or if you’re constantly “stepping on eggshells,” as Antin puts it, it’s time to get professional treatment. If you are afraid of physical or verbal abuse, speak with a therapist as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to seek out friends and family for help as well.

  • your partner dodge the responsibility

Boundaries can affect your relationship in a variety of ways, from polite communication to privacy demands. If you set a boundary and they push back or urge you to change it, that’s a major red flag. Maybe you’ve said, “I need personal space when I get home from work.” I’m glad to see you, but I need to de-stress before I give you any physical attention.” But they continue to approach you as soon as you walk through the door, wanting to kiss you and pull you into the bedroom. When you say no, they apologize and add, “They just can’t help themselves.” You might dismiss this as a gesture of affection and keep reiterating the boundaries, expecting they’ll get it someday. However, their actions demonstrate a disregard for your requirements. Later on, these boundaries were pushed so far that one day there will be no boundaries in your connection, and sometimes this much openness can be destructive to your partnership. after that

  • They say negative or hurtful things about you or others

When your partner does something that bothers you, there’s nothing wrong with expressing your issue. However, in a good relationship, partners often take care to communicate their feelings in constructive and useful ways. It’s unhealthy to continuously criticize one other or say things that are purposely harmful, especially when it comes to personal preferences like food, dress, or favorite TV series. Criticism that makes you feel embarrassed or horrible about yourself is usually harmful. And using a derogatory term from a loved one hurts more intensely than others since you never expect this sort of behavior from them, and when you hear all of this, in fact, it breaks your heart, and you start avoiding each other, to avoid fights or communication. which leads to miscommunication. This leads to miscommunication, which eventually widens the gap in your relationship. Take note of how they speak about others. Your relationship may appear to be in good shape, but if they use hate speech, insults, or make judgmental statements about others, consider what this behavior says about them as a person. 

  • Disagreements or discussions don’t go anywhere

Healthy conflict resolution usually results in a solution or a compromise. Maintaining a relationship is an ongoing process, so you may not be able to resolve everything right away. However, you usually feel good about the interactions you have later. Usually, you may notice some improvement. Communication, discussions play a very important role in a relationship, it is the key to every problem that you may face in your relationship but it is also vice versa if your discussion leads to disagreement and violence usually you will start skipping that because inside you know that this would not let any conclusion bring and sometimes you start bringing a third person in your relationship that sometimes also plays distrust. When you find yourself talking in circles or about the same topics all the time, it’s not a good sign. Perhaps there is no improvement, no matter how frequently you debate something. Maybe they’ll just lock you out eventually.

Fighting well requires time and dedication to get to the base of the problem, no matter what it is. If you’re in a relationship where you’re fighting more than you’re having fun with your partner, don’t worry; there are strategies to quit fighting and enjoy each other more.

  1. Take Some Time Apart
  2. Take Care of The Conflict as Soon as Possible
  3. Remember Why You’re In The Relationship
  4. Create Boundaries for A Fight
  5. Step Away From the Situation to Cool Down
  6. Always Fight or Argue Face to Face

It’s better to separate from each other rather than dragging a dead relationship its better you stay happy separately 

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